Honesty

I was just having a wonderful discussion with a very good friend today. And one topic that came up was "honesty".

When we lie to someone, we are not only telling that lie to them, we are lying to ourselves.....and then we further that lie and try to justify our words to our Heavenly Father. The worst part of a lie is the fact that it always ends up growing like mad. One lie leads to another and another and another. It's a never ending cycle. And it's so destructive. It not only has the potential to destroy the person who told the lie, but it has the potential to destroy friendships, to hurt others in a way that never was originally intended, and worst of all, it destroys your testimony as a Christian.

As Christians we are supposed to protect our witness, protect our testimony. When we behave in a manner that can, and in most cases does, bring about shame to us, we not only shame ourselves but we also bring shame upon our whole house (this would include our spouse, our children, our extended family, our church family - particularly if we, or anyone in our house is in a position of leadership, etc....I think you get the point). This shame damages our witness. And telling lies is damaging in this way. How can one be an effective witness for Christ when he/she is known as a liar? And believe me, even when you do not think others are "aware" of your lies.....someone always is. Don't ever assume that your lie is going to your grave with you......it's not....it's already known....people have already seen through it.

You tell a lie because you might offend someone? LOL If you are honest with me and my feelings are hurt.....well, I might get upset (most likely will get upset with you). But I'll go home, lick my wounds, probably throw myself a huge pity party.....pray about it and finally see it for what it is.....a friend being honest and me needing to make some changes, and forgive you for hurting my feelings and hopefully ask you to forgive me for behaving in a manner that made you call me out to begin with. I get over it....we move on.

Or maybe you've told a lie because you are embarrassed of a mistake you've made? I can assure you, it's much easier to forgive someone of a mistake they've made (no matter how big it is) than it is to get past the lies. Once you lie to someone, you break their trust. They may continue to be in your life, or not. They may continue to go out with you, or not. They may even still consider you their friend, or not. But one thing is for sure, they will never believe one single word you utter without hesitation and without double checking and verifying - if they even care after knowing they were lied to to begin with.

So anyway, back to this wonderful discussion I had today.....we just don't understand why people cannot be honest with each other. I mean, if you mess up.....just admit it. "Hey ,I messed up. Can you please forgive me?" Don't make excuses. Don't make up a lie (because remember, your lie is not such a secret and the person you are lying to already knows you're lying...even if they don't call you on it). Why is it so difficult for people to be honest with each other? You want to salvage relationships? Don't lie. Don't even do it just a little tiny bit and call it a "white lie". There is no such thing as a little white lie. Just be honest.